


i stole your wallet so now im satisfied

by rinentist



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, but only kinda, mention of kaito but he's not actually there, stealing someone's wallet is basically a pick up line tbh fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinentist/pseuds/rinentist
Summary: kokichi steals shuichi's walletloosely based off of a personal experience
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 109





	i stole your wallet so now im satisfied

**Author's Note:**

> little oneshot i wrote bc i was procrastinating and feeling sappy

Honestly, it had almost been too easy.

He’d met up with Shuichi, Shuichi had taken out his wallet for one reason or another, Kokichi had innocently asked to take a look, and the tired criminology major had just handed it over with nary a second thought! It hardly even qualified as thievery! Kokichi hadn’t even had to plan for it!

It would have been worth it if he had only gotten to see that  _ horrible _ picture on Shuichi’s student ID where it looked like the photographer had captured mid word with everything but the hat slightly out of focus, but to hold it in his hands! To have Shuichi attempt to maintain his composure whilst being unable to catch him! That was a mound of icing on the delicious cake!

Just to stick it to Shuichi a little further, Kokichi had decided to run off back to his dorm room, blissfully free of roommate Kaito Momota, who had an astronomy final the next day and was most definitely pulling an all nighter, and continue the charade for a while longer. 

Where Shuichi had followed him.

That’s when it had all gone to shit.

“Kokichi, I’d really like my wallet back,” Shuichi nigh whispered into his ear.

_ Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit _ , was all that Kokichi could think, sitting on his bed, Shuichi almost an inch from skin to skin contact.  _ Shit. _

Of course any master thief was prepared with a comeback, “What wallet?”

Okay, he couldn’t be blamed for that one. Shuichi had been in his room for an hour and his breath was so warm and the way his hair fell slightly into his face was so distractingly charming that  _ god damn it Kokichi hold it together. _

“Kokichi.”

“Did you know this dorm room is actually a communist state? Kaito knows Russian, so he’s basically Putin’s boytoy!”

“Kokichi, wallet?”

And every time he said it the bastard moved a little closer.  _ Damn it,  _ Kokichi wasn’t used to being flustered. When he usually saw Shuichi it was from the other side of a dining hall table, when he was either smiling as benignly as a pomeranian left outside Au Bon Pain or enthusing about criminal behavior in terms Kokichi had no hope of understanding. And yes, when he usually saw Shuichi he thought,  _ wow that nerd is kind of cute _ , and yes, when he usually saw Shuichi he ignored the little jumping his heart did and focused on pranking the shit out of him, or if supplies were not available, making fun of him, but that little jump was a lot harder to ignore when said nerd was within kissable distance for the third time in as many minutes. 

“So, technically, by communist principles, isn’t it  _ our  _ wallet?” Kokichi asked, prancing off the bed and out of reach. 

Shuichi got up, but didn’t move any closer, “Can I have  _ our _ wallet?”

“Did you fill out the paperwork?”   
Shuichi raised his eyebrows.

“There’s a lot of red tape for this kind of process, Shumai!”

Kokichi took a quick lap of the room before ending up right in front of Shuichi and extending his arms out, “And I don’t even have it!” he said plopping back down onto his bed.

Shuichi took a quick circle of the room, looking on top of dressers and surveying the floor, but didn’t encounter his wallet. Mostly because it wasn’t in an easy location like that, Kokichi was no amateur. However, when Shuichi sat back down, right next to Kokichi, his thigh was pressed right up to his. 

“I’d like to know where my wallet is,” Shuichi said, with his face too close to Kokichi than it had any right to be. What was up with that? Kokichi was always the bastard in whatever relationship he was in! Not that this was a relationship other than friendship, and not that Kokichi was thinking of just saying fuck it and kissing him. This was fine! Fine!

Shuichi kept staring, and Kokichi realized he’d taken a second too long to reply.

“How about a fair trade?” he quipped, putting on the too wide smile he favored for exchanges like these. It came naturally to his face and helped cover up the anxiety of what he was about to do, two in one deal!

“I think the fair trade would be you giving me my wallet back and not committing petty larceny, but I’ll hear you out,” Shuichi replied. 

Kokichi quickly retrieved the wallet, which had been in his supreme hiding spot under his mattress, and held it up in the air, “Your wallet, for a kiss.”

Shuichi looked unconvinced. He had enough time to think _ oh god, Kokichi you’ve really done it this time, get ready to never talk to him again _ and then smoothly the hand holding Shuichi’s wallet was pinned behind him. He was about to protest foul play, but as soon as he opened his mouth he found any sound he could have produced covered by soft lips.

By the time Kokichi fully realized what had happened Shuichi had stood up, the wallet successfully obtained in Kokichi’s moment of surprise.

“I’ll see you around, Kokichi,” he said casually.  _ Casually _ . And then  _ walked out _ as if Kokichi wasn’t sitting there in a confused daze.

_ Wow _ .

Kaito was not going to believe this worked.

**Author's Note:**

> quarantine really be doin me like this


End file.
